Anyway, I've been down and out for the last week or so. I developed an abscess on my abdomen right below the breast. I couldn't sleep as any position was painful; I could feel my pulse through the abscess at all times. It was about the side of a golf ball if not bigger. I had no choice but to go to the doctor (I am one of the 50 million Americans without health insurance). It's a good thing I went when I did because my blood pressure was extremely high; almost to the point of stroke territory.

It had to be lanced. The doctor injected me with a numbing agent. It didn't work because as soon as the needle punctured the abscess, the pus started flowing and very little of the numbing agent made it's way in. In a nutshell, I FELT EVERYTHING. I felt the incision, the squeezing of the wound, the oozing of the wound, the packing of gauze inside the wound. INTENSE! I'm on an antibiotic.

I had to go back the following day to get my packing changed. The hole is too small for me to change the packing myself so I had to go to the MetroHealth burn unit on Saturday and Sunday to have it changed. They're really great there. The nurse coached me through my breathing and was very encouraging. She was very gentle.

I go back to the doctor tomorrow afternoon. I hope we can stop this packing nonsense! I get some sharp pains on occasion and it's still difficult for me to bend down.

I'm sad because tomorrow is supposed to be a Blood Club meeting and I am unable to give blood at this time. I'm going to ask Dr. Gillespie when I can donate. It's very important to me. I love saving lives!!!

But, the verdict is that I'm going to live at least one more day. See ya tomorrow.

In continuare, santierisme proaspete:

(extremisme)

emo_cu_matizu': ce plm e ala un ferestreu?
emo_cu_matizu': asa zic moldovenii?
D: nu stiu ma
emo_cu_matizu': :))
emo_cu_matizu': I:ce e ala ferestreu?R: un fierastrau, da' cu mai putini dinti,ca e de moldovean

D: am aflat si cine e nagy imre
emo_cu_matizu': nu e premierul ala
emo_cu_matizu': maghiar?
D: nush
D: ce a fost
D: ce e important
D: e ca a murit
D: asa trebuie catalogati ungurii
D: vii/morti
D: ca la biserica

(dragostea-i ca si o raie..)

emo_cu_matizu': oricum, ce oameni suntem
emo_cu_matizu': hal de moduri de a ne arata dragostea
emo_cu_matizu': tu ii dai mouse
emo_cu_matizu': eu i-am spus lui PFU dupa 15 zile
emo_cu_matizu': ca mi-e de 32768 de ori mai draga decat in prima zi
emo_cu_matizu': ca pe zi ce trece imi placea de 2 ori mai mult
emo_cu_matizu': plm...
D: AH
D: AAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(semigayism:-s)

emo_cu_matizu': m-am dus la doctor in slbz
D: aoleu
D: si am baut dupa tine
emo_cu_matizu': si mi-a zis doar sa nu mai mananc citrice
emo_cu_matizu': sis a nu beau acidulat
emo_cu_matizu': sau ma rog
D: o sa te imbolnavesti
D: si o sa mori
emo_cu_matizu': nush daca e candidoza neaparat
emo_cu_matizu': daaaa
emo_cu_matizu': clar
emo_cu_matizu': o sa fac sculament cand o sa mi-o sug singur ca ala de pe forum

(gayism total)

D: infloresti
emo_cu_matizu': :))
emo_cu_matizu': am inflorit deja
emo_cu_matizu': acum astept sa ma defloreze cineva
emo_cu_matizu': ca sa-mi dea fructele

(santierist cautand sa para inteligent)

emo_cu_matizu': a, te antrenezi sa fii ghid?
emo_cu_matizu': "salut eu sunt D si astazi vom strabate valea oltului in stil mynym@l"
D: depinde
D: mda
emo_cu_matizu': "la stanga vedeti manastirea armin van buuren iar mai la dreapta
emo_cu_matizu': pula mea mai la dreapta vedeti un tigan prost care n-are suficiente  cunostinte despre minimal si trance cat sa-si termine mistoul de 2 lei

(Postul Pastelui)
emo_cu_matizu': ba baiatule cum e postu' asta
emo_cu_matizu': dau niste basini
emo_cu_matizu': de la zacusca, am impresia
emo_cu_matizu': vorbeam de lup
emo_cu_matizu': inca 2,3 din astea si nici singur n-o sa ma mai suport...
D: :))
emo_cu_matizu': e clar
emo_cu_matizu': asta seara ma duc la biserica
emo_cu_matizu': e joia mare = cele 12 liturghii
emo_cu_matizu': le evacuez pe babele alea una cate una
emo_cu_matizu': un fel de silent run dar mai pr0

(un alt santierism tipic)

D: auzi
emo_cu_matizu': a?
D: ma bucur

The doc asked me if I have a history of child sex abuse. I said yes. She said "Who molested you?" I said "There were three perpetrators. A babysitter, my brother, and then my father." Except I couldn't get the words out, because I started to cry. Normally, I can talk about my history without crying, but I was so nervous about having to be there at the gynecologist that I lost my shit.

No woman likes to go to the gyno. I get that. But for me, and probably lots of other survivors, it takes on a whole new level of shit for us. It's not just fucking uncomfortable, it's terrorizing. Someone down there is sticking shit into our vaginas, their face is down there, inspecting it and what not. It's fucked up. I always cry. I hate crying in front of strangers, and the gyno gets to see me do it every time, and it's embarassing.

This is why you shouldn't fuck kids. I shouldn't have to cry at the fucking gynecologist's office.

EDIT: CP might be using my idea!

___________________________

Hello Yoshimad123,

Those do sound like some great colors for sure.

I am not sure if we will be able to use your idea, but keep on hoping for the
best, as you never know what is going to happen on the wild and wacky world of
Club Penguin.

Until next time Yoshimad123, take care!

Sincerely,

Joey
Club Penguin Fan Mail

---------------------------------------------------
From: chloe.j.smith@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Oct 4th, 2008 5:48 am
To: fanmail@clubpenguin.com

It's me again, Yoshimad123.
I've got an idea for igloos. Maybe you could add a Wallpaper feature to igloos so you can have wallpapers in your igloos, like the flooring (But it's wallpaper that goes on igloo walls). Maybe in the next Igloo Upgrades, you could add a section where you can purchase wallpaper for your igloo. And there could we a feature where you can remove it. When I was on the Miniclip CP forums, they all said it was a good idea so they said I should send it to you.
Is it a good idea?
~Yoshimad123
---------------------------------------------------
From: fanmail@clubpenguin.com
Date: Oct 12th, 2008 8:02 pm
To: chloe.j.smith@hotmail.co.uk

Hello Yoshimad123 (cool name by the way),

Thank you for your email and interesting idea. I apologize for the delay in our
response; your patience is much appreciated.

Wallpaper for igloos would be a very interesting idea. However, I wonder how
the wallpaper would go sticking to the ice cold walls. Penguin might find have
to spend much time re-sticking the coverings to the walls. Do you have any
ideas what colors you would want to see released?

Make sure you check out the Better Igloo and Igloo Upgrade catalog released
this Friday. They have a spooking Halloween theme to help penguins start
celebrating the Halloween fun.

Be sure to keep sending your ideas in. While we can't guarantee that all
suggestions can be used at Club Penguin we love to hear what great ideas you
have come up with.

Until next time... Waddle on!

Carla
Club Penguin Fan Mail

---------------------------------------------------
From: chloe.j.smith@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Oct 13th, 2008 2:55 am
To: fanmail@clubpenguin.com

Thanks for your reply.
If you use my idea, maybe you could use basic colours like red, blue, and green until some people (or the CP staff) start to add more designs like the flooring.
~Yoshimad123

Be patient number one
Waiting is never fun. But waiting for an unpleasant event is even worse. And if you have a female gynecologist, “the wait might be longer because patients tend to open up more to women,” says Mary Jane Minkin, MD, clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the Yale University School of Medicine and author of A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Health. To shorten your wait and get the most face time, schedule several months in advance, Minkin says. That way you can ask for the first appointment in the morning or for a slot directly after lunch. And make sure your postlunch appointment is on a nonsurgery day, says Vicki Rackner, MD, president of Medical Bridges, a health-coaching-and-advocacy firm for patients and caregivers in Mercer Island, Washington. “A lot of gynecologists have operative mornings,” she explains, “and if an operation lasts longer than expected, all the afternoon appointments will be late.”

Wait your way
If you have to wait, use the time in an enjoyable way. “Bring something that relaxes you,” says Winnie King, MD, host of Lifetime’s Speaking of Women’s Health and an emergency-medicine physician in The Woodlands, Texas. “It can be a humorous book or calming music on an MP3 player. The goal is to avoid getting more stressed out as time passes.”

Next page: Dress to undress

Dress to undress
What’s the best-undressed gyno patient wearing this season? Knee socks. “Socks are the one thing you don’t have to take off, and knee socks can help you keep warm if the exam room is cold,” Minkin says. Tuck a pair in your purse and forget the lace-up boots and the intricate body shaper. Wear comfortable clothing you can get out of easily. Also, if you’re having a mammogram before or after your Pap test, “wear a top and skirt or pants,” King says. “That way you can remove just your top for the test.”

You don’t have to be that clean
Many women—understandably—fixate on cleaning and grooming themselves before a gyno exam. No need to go overboard. “Too much cleaning, like douching, can negatively affect exams like the Pap test,” King says. The douche can wash away the cells your gyno needs to examine, so you may have to come in for another Pap. Instead, take your routine shower (using soap is fine) and avoid powders in the genital area. There’s also no need for waxing; your gynecologist checks down there to make sure you’re healthy, not to judge your wax job.

What if you have sex the night before? No problem. In years past, semen in a Pap smear could obscure the important cells on the slide. These days, the gynecologist collects cells from your cervix with a brush, dunks the brush into a liquid medium, and then spins the liquid so everything extraneous washes away. Sure, your gyno might see the evidence of last night’s romp, but she won’t care. If you think you’ll be embarrassed, hold off on sex or use a condom.

Next page: Take notes

Take notes
To help your doc help you—and to make sure you don’t forget to bring up that nagging itch—make a list of your questions and concerns, current medications and supplements, and any new drug allergies or medical issues. And be clear about what you want from the exam. Do you want a diagnosis? Simple info? Or, if you’re experiencing a difficult health issue, do you just want to know that someone is on your side? It’s your job to set the agenda.

Jot down the doc’s answers, too. Racker points out that it’s understandably difficult to remember what’s being said during an appointment. If you’re a visual learner, ask your gyno to write down the important info or even draw a picture. If you learn by listening, bring along a tape recorder. And if you learn by doing, ask the doc to watch and comment as you, say, give yourself a breast exam.

Yes, ask about that!
Whether it’s strange smells, weird gastro symptoms, or sex issues, getting them out in the open is likely to ease your mind. And rest assured that your gyno has heard it all before. So, you want to know about vaginal versus clitoral orgasms? How perimenopause might affect your libido? Where your G-spot is? Why your husband likes to do that? “It’s absolutely appropriate to ask,” King says. “Some docs will feel comfortable answering the questions, and some will refer you to a sex therapist to address more-serious issues or concerns.”

The payoff can be huge. “If a woman would really talk to her gynecologist the way she talks to her girlfriends,” Racker says, “she’d have the best visit of her life.”

By Linda Formichelli

This is what I call "the right to a dead baby." This is the kind of "hope" Obama is really about.  Does America want a leader that has zero respect for innocent human life?  Even if you don't care about babies, good luck in the event of a terrorist attack with a leader of this caliber.

From the Chicago whistleblower nurse Jill Stanek's Website:

August 21, 2008

Obama caught on tape arguing against giving medical attention to aborted babies

The IL General Assembly destroys audiotapes of its floor debates after transcripts have been written. That is why there is precious little audio, if any, of Barack Obama as state senator making any speeches.

But a pro-life sleuth has found a short audio clip on the Chicago Tribune website of Obama arguing on the IL Senate floor on April 4, 2002, against Senate Bill B1663, a companion bill to the Born Alive Infants Protection Act that would have required an abortionist to call a second physician to assess a baby aborted alive.

Obama advocating infanticide audio mp3

Obama advocating infanticide audio wav

Here is the Senate transcript to ensure the comment is heard in context....

"Obama opposed SB1663 arguing he had "confidence" that the abortionist - who was invested in attempting to kill the child pre-delivery - would not mind revealing his or her botch by calling a 2nd physician to ensure the child was given proper medical attention and revived if possible.

Obama thought it remarkable to suspect an abortionist of having a subjective medical opinion about his new second patient. It didn't occur to Obama that the abortionist might also be invested in seeing the baby dead to preclude malpractice lawsuits down the road if the baby were found not to have pre-birth diagnosed defects, an overriding reason for these late-term induced labor abortions.

But Obama's most telling statement from the clip was to say this bill "is really designed simply to burden the original decision of the woman and the physician to induce labor and perform an abortion."

In other words, if a baby were to survive his or her abortion,the death plan marked out for this child should be carried out nonetheless.' -Jill Stanek----------------------------------

"I -- I suspect and my impression is, is that the Medical Society suspects as well that doctors feel that they would be under that obligation, that they would already be making these determinations and that, essentially, adding a -- an additional doctor who then has to be called in an emergency situation to come in and make these assessments is really designed simply to burden the original decision of the woman and the physician to induce labor and perform an abortion."

-Barack Hussein Obama

There goes Barack, stuttering as usual.  How in the world did he get the reputation for being an "eloquent orator" anyways?

State of Illinois
92^nd General Assembly

Legislation

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---

92_SB1663


                                               LRB9215509RCsb

 1        AN ACT concerning abortion.

 2        Be  it  enacted  by  the People of the State of Illinois,
 3    represented in the General Assembly:

 4        Section 5.  The Illinois Abortion Law of 1975 is  amended
 5    by changing Section 6 as follows:

 6        (720 ILCS 510/6) (from Ch. 38, par. 81-26)
 7        Sec. 6.  (1) (a) Any physician who intentionally performs
 8    an  abortion  when,  in  his  medical  judgment  based on the
 9    particular  facts  of  the  case  before  him,  there  is   a
10    reasonable  likelihood  of  sustained  survival  of the fetus
11    outside the womb, with or without artificial  support,  shall
12    utilize  that  method of abortion which, of those he knows to
13    be available, is in  his  medical  judgment  most  likely  to
14    preserve the life and health of the fetus.
15        (b)  The  physician  shall  certify in writing, on a form
16    prescribed by the Department under Section 10  of  this  Act,
17    the available methods considered and the reasons for choosing
18    the method employed.
19        (c)  Any   physician  who  intentionally,  knowingly,  or
20    recklessly violates the provisions of Section 6(1)(a) commits
21    a Class 3 felony.
22        (2) (a)  No abortion shall be performed or  induced  when
23    the fetus is viable unless there is in attendance a physician
24    other  than the physician performing or inducing the abortion
25    who shall take control of and provide immediate medical  care
26    for  any  child  born  alive  as a result of the abortion. No
27    abortion procedure which, in  the  medical  judgment  of  the
28    attending physician, has a reasonable likelihood of resulting
29    in  a  live born child shall be undertaken unless there is in
30    attendance a physician other than the physician performing or
31    inducing the abortion who shall assess the child's  viability

                            -2-                LRB9215509RCsb
 1    and  provide  medical  care for the child. These requirements
 2    This  requirement  shall  not  apply  when,  in  the  medical
 3    judgment of the physician performing or inducing the abortion
 4    based on the particular facts of the case before  him,  there
 5    exists  a  medical  emergency;  in such a case, the physician
 6    shall describe  the  basis  of  this  judgment  on  the  form
 7    prescribed  by  Section  10  of  this  Act.  In  any event, a
 8    physician inducing or performing an abortion which results in
 9    a live born child shall provide for the  soonest  practicable
10    attendance of a physician other than the physician performing
11    or  inducing  the  abortion to immediately assess the child's
12    viability and provide  medical  care  for  the  child.    Any
13    physician  who  intentionally  performs  or  induces  such an
14    abortion and  who  intentionally,  knowingly,  or  recklessly
15    fails  to  arrange  for  the  attendance  of  such  a  second
16    physician  in  violation of Section 6(2)(a) commits a Class 3
17    felony.
18        (b)  Subsequent to the  abortion,  if  a  child  is  born
19    alive,  the  physician  required  by Section 6(2)(a) to be in
20    attendance shall exercise the  same  degree  of  professional
21    skill,  care and diligence to preserve the life and health of
22    the child as would  be  required  of  a  physician  providing
23    immediate medical care to a child born alive in the course of
24    a  pregnancy termination which was not an abortion.  Any such
25    physician  who  intentionally,   knowingly,   or   recklessly
26    violates Section 6(2)(b) commits a Class 3 felony.
27        (3)  The  law  of  this  State  shall not be construed to
28    imply that any living individual organism of the species homo
29    sapiens who has been born alive is not  an  individual  under
30    the  "Criminal  Code  of  1961,"  approved  July 28, 1961, as
31    amended.
32        (3.5)  A live child born as a result of an abortion shall
33    be fully recognized as a human person and accorded  immediate
34    protection under the law.  All reasonable measures consistent

                            -3-                LRB9215509RCsb
 1    with  good  medical  practice,  including  the compilation of
 2    appropriate medical records, shall be taken to  preserve  the
 3    life and health of the child.
 4        (4) (a)  Any  physician  who  intentionally  performs  an
 5    abortion   when,   in  his  medical  judgment  based  on  the
 6    particular  facts  of  the  case  before  him,  there  is   a
 7    reasonable  possibility  of  sustained  survival of the fetus
 8    outside the womb, with or without artificial  support,  shall
 9    utilize  that  method of abortion which, of those he knows to
10    be available, is in  his  medical  judgment  most  likely  to
11    preserve the life and health of the fetus.
12        (b)  The  physician  shall  certify in writing, on a form
13    prescribed by the Department under Section 10  of  this  Act,
14    the available methods considered and the reasons for choosing
15    the method employed.
16        (c)  Any   physician  who  intentionally,  knowingly,  or
17    recklessly violates the provisions of Section 6(4)(a) commits
18    a Class 3 felony.
19        (5)  Nothing in Section 6 requires a physician to  employ
20    a  method  of  abortion which, in the medical judgment of the
21    physician performing the abortion  based  on  the  particular
22    facts  of the case before him, would increase medical risk to
23    the mother.
24        (6)  When the fetus  is  viable  and  when  there  exists
25    reasonable  medical  certainty (a) that the particular method
26    of abortion to be employed will cause  organic  pain  to  the
27    fetus,  and  (b) that use of an anesthetic or analgesic would
28    abolish or alleviate organic pain to the fetus caused by  the
29    particular  method  of  abortion  to  be  employed,  then the
30    physician who is to perform the abortion or his agent or  the
31    referring  physician or his agent shall inform the woman upon
32    whom the abortion is to be performed that such an  anesthetic
33    or  analgesic  is  available, if he knows it to be available,
34    for use to abolish or alleviate organic pain  caused  to  the

                            -4-                LRB9215509RCsb
 1    fetus  by  the  particular method of abortion to be employed.
 2    Any person who performs an abortion with knowledge  that  any
 3    such  reasonable  medical  certainty  exists and that such an
 4    anesthetic or analgesic is available, and intentionally fails
 5    to so inform the woman or to ascertain  that  the  woman  has
 6    been so informed commits a Class B misdemeanor. The foregoing
 7    requirements  of  subsection (6) of Section 6 shall not apply
 8    (a) when in the medical judgment of the physician who  is  to
 9    perform  the  abortion  or the referring physician based upon
10    the particular facts of the case before him: (i) there exists
11    a medical emergency, or (ii) the administration  of  such  an
12    anesthetic  or  analgesic  would  decrease  a  possibility of
13    sustained survival of the fetus apart from the  body  of  the
14    mother,  with  or without artificial support, or (b) when the
15    physician who is  to  perform  the  abortion  administers  an
16    anesthetic  or  an analgesic to the woman or the fetus and he
17    knows there exists reasonable medical certainty that such use
18    will abolish organic pain caused  to  the  fetus  during  the
19    course of the abortion.
20        (7)  No  person  shall  sell  or  experiment upon a fetus
21    produced by the fertilization of a  human  ovum  by  a  human
22    sperm unless such experimentation is therapeutic to the fetus
23    thereby produced.  Intentional violation of this section is a
24    Class  A  misdemeanor.    Nothing  in  this subsection (7) is
25    intended  to   prohibit   the   performance   of   in   vitro
26    fertilization.
27        (8)  No  person  shall  intentionally perform an abortion
28    with  knowledge  that  the  pregnant  woman  is  seeking  the
29    abortion solely on account of the sex of the fetus.   Nothing
30    in   Section   6(8)  shall  be  construed  to  proscribe  the
31    performance of an abortion on account of the sex of the fetus
32    because of a genetic disorder linked to  that  sex.   If  the
33    application  of Section 6(8) to the period of pregnancy prior
34    to viability is held invalid, then such invalidity shall  not

                            -5-                LRB9215509RCsb
 1    affect  its application to the period of pregnancy subsequent
 2    to viability.
 3    (Source: P.A. 84-1001.)

 4        Section 99.  Effective date.  This Act takes effect  upon
 5    becoming law.

Here is the full text of the bill: http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/legisnet92/sbgroups/sb/920SB1663LV.html

The underlined portions of the bill are original.  I will repeat them here for emphasis:

In  any event, a
physician inducing or performing an abortion which results in
a live born child shall provide for the  soonest  practicable
attendance of a physician other than the physician performing
or  inducing  the  abortion to immediately assess the child's
viability and provide  medical  care  for  the  child.

A live child born as a result of an abortion shall
be fully recognized as a human person and accorded  immediate
protection under the law.  All reasonable measures consistent

with  good  medical  practice,  including  the compilation of
appropriate medical records, shall be taken to  preserve
the life and health of the child.

Remember, he voted against giving infants surviving abortions and born alive FOUR times.

He is more extreme than any US senator or congressman or Planned Parenthood or NARAL.

Also, these born alive infants, regardless of this bill, have been and are required to have birth certificates issued,

and death certificates if/when they die.  BECAUSE THEY OBVIOUSLY ARE PEOPLE!  Speaking of birth certificates...

"Doctor" the word has weight in it but now the word is on dieting. Doctors were believed to be next to the God. But now-a-days doctor are losing their respect. Since past few years doctors are found involved in many sorts of illegal works. They have gained titles like organ smugglers, man-slaughters and sex-doctors etc. People are losing faith in them. A number of such cases have aroused which are disgusting. Another reason is that its easy to get a fake degree these days. People are in doubt. Nobody prefers a newcomer in this profession. And the survey shows old and experienced doctors are involved in crimes.

Doctors are also found guilty in organ smuggling. Earlier this year the Indian Kidney Racket had smashed the doctor's reputation more. Kidney transplant needs are now met easily as these doctors have made their own organ banks. Un-lawfull selling of organs like kidney, liver etc is becoming a business these days.

Doctors are also gaining publicity as sex doctors. Making sex tapes of patients and putting them on Internet is a easy and fast way to make money. Sexual harassment by doctors is also making to news.

As a result of such incidences by few doctors, whole of the community is suffering. Doctor is a noble profession and a hand full of people are making it sin-full.

And much more doctors are in news just stay updated and avoid such doctors. Report to nearest police station if you observe any un-lawfull activity being carried out by a professional.

Thats how i feel right now.

I've also affiliated with Opinion Outpost.  They pay you to do surveys online.  The only catch is that you actually have to qualify for them, which is harder than you think. Also, the surveys are not plentiful or constant, but a extra few bucks every few weeks isn't so bad.  Check them out.

The foot is also doing well, with me wearing my Nike sneakers out during the weekend and no longer wearing the "boot."  The foot still hurts, but it's not so bad.  At least the sneaker is not obvious, like the boot.

I snagged a copy of The Host as an ebook, so I may read it while unoccupied at work. If anyone wants it, drop me a line and I'll send it your way.

The Boy's muscle biopsy will be done tomorrow.  Apparently, the other day was an intake day and not the actual procedure.  It'll be done on his right shoulder, so hopefully there won't be too much discomfort for him.

Our roommates fought Saturday night, which weirds me out a bit.  I was telling Dave that when they're like that it makes me want to be less "couply" around them.  I don't want them feeling awkward or anything, but at the same time when things are good between them, they're very couply.  Dave says it makes him want to do the opposite.  That not being the couple that fights like they do makes him appreciate us more and therefore, he wants to be more couply...and I'm seeing his point and doing what I want to regardless of whether or not they're fighting.  In all honesty, I don't care if they fight.  I just don't want to make it awkward for them, the way it is for me when people know I've been fighting with someone.  Maybe they don't feel awkward.  Maybe that's just a weird thing with me?

I did make it to see my GP this morning, what a wait I had though when I got there. The dose of Sertraline has been increased now to 150mg and I’ve started the new dose today. I didn’t mention the tiredness today, I wanted to. To be honest the GP was running late and after sitting there for over 40 minutes in the waiting room, I just wanted to go home. I shall see how the new dose goes and if there is any improvement in the tiredness over the next few weeks.

I have no idea how much longer the workmen are going to be here, they seem to be making progress faster than I thought so I am hoping that it’s not going to take 10 days as original planned. I am surprised after three days the tiles are on already, still I am not complaining I shall be glad when it’s done and I don’t have to ferry over to mum’s to use the shower!

my fieldwork supervisor dr. d has been so gracious to hear my every wailing and pent ups in my very misery. i feel i have to say it out loud because if i don't, i think i am going crazy. and dr. d has been there at least when i went at her office she's there. beside her busy schedule she was able to find time to hear me out other than the fact that she have to for my fieldwork class, but this issue of mine is something out of the boundary of fieldwork. i easily see things inward my self and sometimes the things i recognized and acknowledges overwhelms me...to the point of drowning me. and i felt drowning.

so as we talked, i discovered i am grieving...which i never really realized until i talked out my feelings...somehow knowing relieves me from the pain of feeling somethings so awful and not knowing what it is..

actually my fieldwork practice has change my life in so many different ways than i expected and anticipated...

yesterday, i learned that dr. d is sick... it made me think. i am not sure for the reason why she sick and i guess it is because of her workload and too much stress...and yet she welcomes my every wailing and crying and comfort me during my "sick" days...

then i asked myself, where does she goes when she feels down? does she has her own "dr.d"? i realized that i was just like her battling with every days struggle to live fully and conquers every day's quest. well i hope she's well now...afterall we are all warrior of God, dr. d and me and the rest of us. we must be strong for each other. 

We didn’t know what to expect at Max’s appointment - but we knew that that one area on his arm had not healed as fast or as completely as every other burn had. It was/is still an open wound. The big unanswered question, and the one that was on everyones mind was ‘Is Max going to need surgery?’. Max has been such a good sport throughout this whole time, and had already reluctantly assumend surgery was going to be the outcome, but it was our job to remind him it wasn’t a certainty and that’s why we were going to the doctors again.

We arrived at the hospital (where the doctors office was - on the 5th floor) and made our way to our appointment. The doctors assistant escorted us to a room, somewhat smaller than our previous visit, and asked Max to remove his shirt, he did. She took his temperature and removed his dressing and left. Dr. Eshraghi walked in, smiled briefly and went directly to Max. He looked carefully, thoughtfully, and delivered his conclusion. We had three options. 1st: We do the surgery and remove the burn. 2nd: We wait several weeks, return and do the surgery if the wound is still bothering Max. 3rd: We return after several weeks and if the scar looks fine and does not bother Max, we leave it alone. He looked at us and basically stated that Max’s injury was borderline, but would be fine without immediate intervention - but made it clear that it was our choice. I think he really didn’t want to put us through any more. The hospital already had us booked for surgery that afternoon - so we were prepared, but not really looking forward to another procedure on Max. We chose option three, the doctor nodded and agreed. We liked the doctor - from the moment we met him at The Burn Center, we could tell he cared. He pointed out what to look for in Max’s wound as the weeks progressed, and gave us some information on what things we could do to help his scar heal properly. And with that we left the hospital.

We were all so happy. For the first time in what seemed a long time, we were a happy family again, no worries and most importantly for Max - no surgery. I made calls, sent some texts out about the good news and we set off for lunch.

Lunch was great - we met my cousin Nicole for a tasty lunch at this place on Mississippi called Muddy’s, then we cruised to a comic book store up the street to kill some time before heading downtown and hooking up with our friends Mark and Heather.

We cruised across the river, parked and made our way around the Pearl, stopping at Powell’s and mio gelato for some, well, gelato.

We met up with M & H at their cool studio across from W&K - Scenic as they were wrapping up their Friday with their cute little Welsh Terrier Layla. We hadn’t seen them since Max was at the Burn Center, but didn’t really have the time or energy to really hang-out, so it was good to see them under less stressfull conditions.

We (Laurie, Max, Ana, and I) stayed at their home for the evening - which was memorable for sure (good times, good times). We had our own room and the kids were set up in a tent - they loved it. Ana spent most of her time playing with Layla, and Max was plugged into the PS3. It felt good to be in Portland with friends - not a hotel, being in such a relaxing environment removed us from our reason being in Portland in the first place and allowed us to chill. Thank you Mark and Heather for having us over and being such wonderful hosts.

Saturday rolled around and we made our way back home. No stops this time, Ana had a soccer game to get to and she didn’t want to miss it. The ride was fast and uneventful. We got home and all was well. Our neighbor Megan had watched Coco and Lucy for us, thank you Megan!

The weekend melted away as I spent most of the time hanging inside with Max, who was taking a day off from having to smear massive amounts of SPF on his face and arm. We played Halo 3 online w/ my brother and Max’s cousin (we kicked butt) and started organizing Legos.

Max’s burns are for sure getting better, but there’s no doubt there are still marks that tell the tale. Before we left the doctor’s office I had asked how long before his skin started blending back to look as it did before this all happened. I was told he would look ‘normal’ in about twelve months, but there would be a chance that some areas may look a little ‘different’ but time would tell.

I’m positive Max is going to do great in these upcoming months. He’s shown nothing but strength and resolve throughout this whole ordeal. His outlook has been and contiunes to be positive and that counts for alot.

With such a great community of family, friends, and well wishers how could he not get better? :^)

To be honest, I was horrified when I heard it had been proposed at all. What kind of society are we to become when we deny very basic health care to those who are extremely likely to be unable to pay for it?

lipo's sojourn@flickr

I am constantly reminded of a woman I was asked to assess a couple of years ago who was admittedly was in a slightly different situation of being a  failed asylum seeker who had run out of appeals. She walked a good five miles to the nearest GP who would treat her - and back again of course - on a weekly basis. She was physically unwell. It certainly concentrated the mind on the importance in general, regarding public health, especially in a crowded city, of treating people who are sick - firstly on a level of humanity and second, just because the spread of infection or someone who is avoiding treatment in primary care will lead to longer and perhaps more widespread difficulties over a longer period.

People, on whatever level they enter the country and whatever the grounds are that decide whether they can or cannot stay, are still people and are still subject, at the very least, to human rights legislation which explicitly ordains a right to life.

The Guardian quotes a spokesman for the BMA (British Medical Association) as saying

'Our view was always that there had to be more flexibility for GPs. If you are talking about people who can pay, that is one thing, but asylum seekers are unlikely to have the money.' She said denying primary care could lead to failed asylum seekers later coming to the NHS with 'more life-threatening and more expensive' needs: 'Diabetes may not be an emergency, but if you don't get any insulin you will end up in a coma and coming to A&E.'

The article goes on to say

Official guidelines state that GPs should not register failed asylum seekers, but they have the discretion to accept them if they wish. Many doctors argue that excluding such people would mean that they were failing in their duty to put patient welfare first.

Good for the doctors who are put into an exceptionally difficult situation by a government that passes out policy documents seemingly on the basis of populist headlines in the 'Daily Mail'.

It's all very well to sit in your comfortable suburban home and grumble about your tax money going to pay the expenses of people who are seeking refuge in this country - but actually thinking of asylum seekers as human beings worthy of dignity and respect rather than numbers and 'a problem' might actually make the society that we live in a better and more wholesome place to live in.

VATICAN CITY, AUG. 29, 2007 (Zenit.org).- Here is a translation of the address Benedict XVI delivered today at the general audience in St. Peter's Square. The reflection focused on St. Gregory of Nyssa.

* * *

Dear Brothers and Sisters!

In the last few catecheses I spoke about two great doctors of the Church of the fourth century, Basil and Gregory Nazianzen, bishop of Cappadocia, in present-day Turkey. Today we add a third, Basil's brother, St. Gregory of Nyssa, who showed himself to be a man of meditative character, with a great capacity for reflection, and a vivacious intellect, open to the culture of his time. He showed himself in this way to be an original and deep thinker in Christian history.

Born in 335, his Christian formation was carried out largely by his brother Basil -- whom he defined as "father and teacher" (Ep 13,4: SC 363, 198) -- and by his sister Macrina. He completed his studies, with a particular appreciation for philosophy and rhetoric. At the beginning, he dedicated himself to teaching and got married. Then he too, like his brother and sister, dedicated himself entirely to the aesthetic life. Later he was elected bishop of Nyssa, and showed himself to be a zealous pastor, earning the esteem of the community. Accused of economic embezzlements by heretical adversaries, he had to abandon his episcopal see for a brief time, but then made a triumphant return (cf. Ep. 6: SC 363, 164-170), and continued to commit himself to the defense of the true faith.

Especially after Basil's death, almost garnering his spiritual legacy, Gregory cooperated in the triumph of orthodoxy. He participated in various synods; he tried to settle divisions between the Churches; he took an active part in the Church's reorganization; and, as "a pillar of orthodoxy," he was a protagonist at the Council of Constantinople in 381, which defined the divinity of the Holy Spirit. He received various official appointments from Emperor Theodosius, he gave important homilies and eulogies, and dedicated himself to writing various theological works. In 394, he participated yet again in a synod held in Constantinople. The date of his death is unknown.

Gregory expresses with clarity the scope of his studies, the supreme goal for which he aims in his theological work: to not engage one's life in vane pursuits, but to find the light that enables one to discern that which is truly useful (cf. "In Ecclesiasten Hom" 1: SC 416, 106-146).

He found this supreme good in Christianity, thanks to which "imitation of the divine nature" is possible ("De Professione Christiana": PG 46, 244C). With his acute intelligence and his vast knowledge of philosophy and theology, he defended the Christian faith against heretics, who negated the divinity of the Son and the Holy Spirit (like Eunomios and the Macedonians), or negated Christ's perfect humanity (like Apollinaris).

He commented on sacred Scripture, concentrating on the creation of man. For him the essential theme was creation. He saw the reflection of the Creator in the creature and therein found the path to God. But he also wrote an important book on the life of Moses, which shows him as a man on the path toward God. This hill leading to Mt. Sinai becomes for him an image of our own hill in human life toward true life, toward the meeting with God. He also interpreted the Lord's prayer, the Our Father, and the beatitudes. In his "Great Catechetical Discourse" ("Oratio Catechetica Magna") he laid out the fundamental points of theology, not for an academic theology closed in on itself, but to offer catechists a system of reference to keep in mind in their teaching, a sort of framework within which a pedagogic interpretation of the faith could move.

Gregory is also outstanding because of his spiritual doctrine. His theology was not an academic reflection, but an expression of a spiritual life, of a lived life of faith. His reputation as a "father of mysticism" can be seen in various treatises -- like "De Professione Christiana" and "De Perfectione Christiana" -- the path that Christians must take to reach true life, perfection. He exalted consecrated virginity ("De Virginitate"), and likewise offered his sister Macrina as an outstanding model of life, who remained a guide for him always, an example (cf. "Vita Macrinae").

He gave various discourses and homilies, and wrote numerous letters. In commenting on the creation of man, Gregory highlights the fact that God, "the best artist, forges our nature so as to make it suitable for the exercise of royalty. Through the superiority given by the soul, and through the very make-up of the body, he arranges things in such a way that man is truly fit for regal power" ("De Hominis Opificio" 4: PG 44, 136B).

But we see how man, in the web of sins, often abusive of creation, does not act in a regal fashion. For this reason, in fact, in order to obtain true responsibility toward creatures, he must be penetrated by God and live in his light. Man is a reflection of that original beauty which is God: "Everything created by God was very good," writes the holy bishop.

And he adds: "The story of creation witnesses to it (cf. Genesis 1:31). Man was also listed among those very good things, adorned with a beauty far superior to all of the good things. In fact, what else could be good, on par with one who was similar to pure and incorruptible beauty? ... Reflection and image of eternal life, he was truly good, no he was very good, with the shining sign of life on his face" ("Homilia in Canticum" 12: PG 44, 1020C).

Man was honored by God and placed above every other creature: "The sky was not made in God's image, not the moon, not the sun, not the beauty of the stars, no other things that appear in creation. Only you (human soul) were made to be the image of nature that surpasses every intellect, likeness of incorruptible beauty, mark of true divinity, vessel of blessed life, image of the true light, that when you look upon it you become that which he his, because through the reflected ray coming from your purity you imitate he who shines within you. Nothing that exists can measure up to your greatness" ("Homilia in Canticum" 2: PG 44,805D).

Let us meditate on this praise of man. We see how man has been debased by sin. And let us try to return to that original greatness: Only if God is present will man arrive at this his true greatness.

Man, therefore, recognized within him the reflection of the divine light. Purifying his heart, he returns to being, as he was in the beginning, a clear image of God, beauty itself (cf. "Oratio Catechetica" 6: SC 453, 174). In this way man, purifying himself, can see God, as do the pure in heart (cf. Matthew 5:8): "If, with a diligent and attentive standard of living, you will wash away the bad things that have deposited upon your heart, the divine beauty will shine in you. … Contemplating yourself, you will see within you he who is the desire of your heart, and you will be blessed" ("De Beatitudinibus," 6: PG 44,1272AB). Therefore, one must wash away the bad things that have deposited upon our heart and find again God's light within us.

Man has as his end the contemplation of God. Only in him can he find his fulfillment. To somehow anticipate this objective already in this life, he must work incessantly toward a spiritual life, a life in dialogue with God. In other words -- and this is the most important lesson that St. Gregory of Nyssa gives us -- man's total fulfillment consists in holiness, in a life lived with God, that, in this way, becomes luminous for others and for the world.

[The Pope made an appeal for regions affected by recent disasters:]

In the last few days, some geographical regions have been devastated by severe calamities: I am referring to the floods in some Eastern countries, as well as the disastrous fires in Greece, Italy and other European nations. Faced with such drastic emergencies, which have resulted in numerous victims and enormous material damages, one cannot help but be worried about the irresponsible behavior of some individuals who put the safety of others at risk and destroy the environmental heritage, a precious good for all of humanity. I unite myself to all those who rightly stigmatize these criminal actions and I invite everyone to pray for the victims of these tragedies.

[Translation by ZENIT]

[After the audience, the Holy Father addressed the audience in various languages. In English, he said:]

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Continuing our catechesis on the teachers of the ancient Church, we now turn to Saint Gregory of Nyssa, the younger brother and spiritual heir of Saint Basil. Gregory's outstanding education and intellectual gifts led him first to teaching. He then embraced the ascetic life, and eventually was ordained Bishop of Nyssa. Like the other Cappadocian Fathers, Gregory contributed greatly to defence of the faith in the period following the Council of Nicaea, and played a leading role at the Council of Constantinople, which defined the divinity of the Holy Spirit. For Gregory, the purpose of all learning and culture is the discernment of the supreme human good, the truth that enables us to find authentic and lasting fulfilment. This supreme good is found in Christianity. In his many catechetical, spiritual and exegetical writings, Gregory emphasizes our creation in the image of God, our royal vocation as stewards of the created order, and our responsibility to cultivate our inner beauty, which is a participation in the uncreated beauty of the Creator. By purifying our hearts and progressing in holiness, we are drawn to the vision of God and thus to the satisfaction of the deepest longings of every human heart.

For why else to become a doctor: to help people right? I hope that not everyone is in it for the money...

1. purchasing the right medication.

2. taking the right dosage.

3. administering it in the right way.

I am hoping that the cold and flu tablets I bought yesterday are similar to Australian and German brands. One lady tried to sell me bottles of elixir for my chills and aches. I was not convinced. Especially when I don't think she really understood what I was trying to say at all.

Also, where is the doctor? We haven't found a doctor yet. So if one of us falls really ill, we wouldn't have a clue who to see. (And will they give me a week off for a little nose drip like the German doctors do???) And also, we haven't registered with a hospital yet. Apparently if you don't register with your local hospital they can choose not to treat you. Are they going to leave me there to convulse and vomit on their doorstep???

Maybe I am just being negative because I have the Being Sick Blues...

"The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school".

So the latest is:

• I am all of a sudden all swollen.  It's freaking me out to look at my hands and feet, but Dr Rebecca assures me that it's still only 'mild oedema'.  It just seems so striking to me given that I've been so lucky to not have any swelling at all the whole pregnancy.
• My blood pressure has gone up.  It's been perfect for the entire pregnancy, but is now at the very top of the normal range.  I have to go back to see Dr Rebecca on Thursday to make sure it hasn't gone up any more.
• No more contractions or any other signs of imminent labour.
• McBean's heartbeat is still strong and regular - he's eminently comfortable in there.
• He still hasn't descended at all, though he is continually switching sides.  Breakdancing by rotating on his head.  Believe me, that doesn't feel very good on the cervix, or the bladder!  And now that he's so big, it seems like there's an alien or something moving around in there - it's super obvious from the outside and is really quite disconcerting.
• I'm sleeping a little better, despite regularly waking up with numb legs - blood flow just isn't happening!  But waking up 2 or 3 times a night only is quite bearable really.
• Dr Rebecca wants me to hang out and do nothing at all.  Except haunt my father for his swimming pool and spa.

I'm trying really hard to get my head around possible medical induction.  The anxiety that the very thought provokes in me really isn't helping my state of mind.  So I've been doing lots of reading, and talking it through with Lazyboo.  We've been trying to build up my confidence a bit that I CAN do it.  It may not be ideal, but I can and will get through it (again) and at the end we'll finally have our boy in our arms.  I've been so focussed on the opportunity to experience a completely natural birth that I've convinced myself that I simply cannot cope with it any other way.  But I know I can.  This time, I'm much more educated and confident and more mature, and I have an amazing partner who I can rely on to advocate for the best interests of both me and our boy.  Her support, and my natural stubbornness will get us through this, no matter how it happens!

In the meantime, I'm just hanging out.  Watching TV from the internet, reading Bu.ffy comics, playing computer games, hanging out with my girls.  Trying to appreciate the calm and quiet that I know is shortlived.

a. Especialización: tiene por objeto profundizar en el dominio de un tema o área determinada dentro de una profesión o de un campo de aplicación de varias profesiones, ampliando la capacitación profesional a través de un entrenamiento intensivo. Cuenta con evaluación final de carácter integrador. Conduce al otorgamiento de un título de Especialista con especificación de la profesión o campo de aplicación.

b. Maestría: tiene por objeto proporcionar una formación superior en una disciplina o área interdisciplinaria, profundizando la formación en el desarrollo teórico, tecnológico, profesional, para la investigación y el estado del conocimiento correspondiente a dicha disciplina o área interdisciplinaria. La formación incluye la realización de un trabajo, proyecto, obra o tesis de carácter individual, bajo la supervisión de un director y culmina con la evaluación por un jurado que incluye al menos un miembro externo a la institución. El trabajo final, proyecto, obra o tesis debe demostrar destreza en el manejo conceptual y metodológico correspondiente al estado actual del conocimiento en la o las disciplinas del caso. Conduce al otorgamiento de un título académico de Magister con especificación precisa de una disciplina o de un área interdisciplinaria.

c. Doctorado: tiene por objeto la obtención de verdaderos aportes originales en un área de conocimiento, cuya universalidad debe procurarse en un marco de nivel de excelencia académica. Dichos aportes originales deben estar expresados en una tesis de Doctorado de carácter individual realizada bajo la supervisión de un Director de tesis, y culmina con su evaluación por un jurado con mayoría de miembros externos al programa y donde al menos uno de éstos sea externo a la institución. Dicha tesis conduce al otorgamiento del título académico de Doctor.

And Jurtle's blog will be posting articles of mine in his post, just to let you know.

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