See, in a _perfect_ world, I would be getting the perfect job in September, because in a perfect world I would be going to graduate school then. However, instead I still have to take two courses because I failed two courses. Now I was suffering then from (hypo)mania then so that's why I failed. I failed linear algebra and dynamical systems. I don't have to take the latter again (I can take anything) but I have to take linear algebra, a subject I detest. But sadly it's the truth.

I also want to go to McGill, but I'll have to wait until next September (going in the Winter is not recommended). So now I'll have to find any old job until that time. I suppose it's good experience but damn, sometimes it's a little frustrating.

So back to linear algebra. I failed it. I was a A+ student until my hypomania. About a year and half (something like that anyway) earlier I starting taking lamotrigine for my mood swings. It helped _much_, but more so with the depressive episodes. A little later I started to feel very irritated frequently. In class I could barely sit still and it actually felt painful to sit there. My sex drive was also through the roof and I had immense difficulty studying.

For some reason, however, I didn't notice that anything was "wrong" or that I was acting somewhat unusually. Then one day I realize that I'm failing and I lost a lot and my life was totally falling apart, so I talked to my doctor and he gave me Seroquel, and everything got better. I felt more calm.

However, because of those incidents now I have to take two classes to finish my degree. Sometimes I think it's so ridiculous but I guess the time isn't wasted if I at least do other things that are worthwhile, like go watch a sunset or learn Perl or something.

Then after I go to grad school, and onto reforming psychology. Then, I change the world. :)

As of March 2008 you can find:
A giant microscope with a walk-in drop of pond water teaming with pond organisms.
A pop-bottle habitat with links to instructions so you can build your own in RL
A newbie obstacle course to practice flying, walking using your camera, etc.
A coral reef (S side of the landbridge to Genome)
Northern Michigan University's Learning Center which houses a conference room, classrooms, Clowey Greenwood's office, and a lobby area for socializing with friends. Also in this building will be posted announcements about events.

Some of the things you will soon be able to find here are:

Interactive activities and exhibits on:
Diversity and classificaiton (beginning in the treehouse being built on the north end of the Learning Center)
Natural Selection (if you hear the tapping - that is our bacteria awaiting some antibiotic to kill them)
Evolution
Photosynthesis
Respiration

Biome is also the home for the groups: Teaching Science, Yooper Science Troopers and Northern Michigan University. We encourage you to join Teaching Science if you are interested in events and discussions involving the teaching and learning of science.

Clowey Greenwood - Biome Evolution Director
Siiaas Saarinen - Biome Manager

http://slurl.com/secondlife/biome/128/127/28

We got Ted "Unabomber" Kaczynski.

Oh, [redacted].

Over the last few years there have been various reports regarding a proposal to officially designate an area of the city as Chinatown, although to date nothing concrete has been formally decided.

It is thought that any such development would be based around the London Road/Highfield area, a district that has traditionally been home for a number of Sheffield's Chinese community. Three-and-a-half hectares has been earmarked for various restaurants, bars, a business centre and maybe a hotel.

Reactions to plan are varied. On one hand it is thought such an area would celebrate the neighbourhood's diversity while developing tourism and boosting local businesses. Internationally, it could make Sheffield a more attractive proposition for Chinese investors, plus it may help draw in students from China to the city's universities.

There are also reservations regarding the scheme and questions to be answered. London Road is presently home for multi-cultural mix of people from all over the world, so is it right to focus on one culture, creating an area just representing the Chinese? What would the impact be on a non-Chinese restaurant located within Chinatown?

Many of the famous Chinatowns of the world have been naturally created in port cities by immigrants; would manufacturing one in Sheffield be "fake"? Or does the fact that the idea has come from Sheffield's Chinese community give it sufficient credibility? There is no mention of the scheme in the city centre masterplan.

In principal I'm cautiously in favour of the idea of Sheffield having a Chinatown, although it would need to be implemented with care and in full consultation with all existing residents, community groups, businesses and other stakeholders. If an agreeable and inclusive solution can be found then it could become an asset to the city.

Image by bits of rubble and used under Creative Commons license

Doing good for others makes us feel good.

That’s the conclusion of a recent study led by Michael Steger, assistant professor of educational and counseling psychology in the University of Louisville’s College of Education and Human Development.

Steger launched the study to find out what makes people happier: seeking pleasure or taking the harder road of trying to become a better person.

“I’ve always been interested in learning how people find meaning in life,” he said.

To answer that question, he and his colleagues asked a group of 65 college students to complete an online survey each day for three weeks. The students were asked to note how much time they spent in pleasure-seeking activities and how much time they spent in activities such as helping others and listening to friends’ problems.

The survey-takers also were asked whether they felt happy or sad and how purposeful their lives felt.

Those who spent more time in meaningful activities were happier and felt more life purpose than those who mainly sought pleasure, the study showed. To make sure the finding was valid, Steger’s team administered a nearly identical survey to another group of students over a four-week period.

The conclusion was the same.

“The results (of the study) present an enormously optimistic picture of people that, as a cynic, I was very happy to see,” Steger said.

The study, headed for publication in the Journal of Research in Personality, isn’t the first research project Steger has undertaken to learn more about why human beings react to life in different ways. Last year, while still at the University of Minnesota, he published a study showing that the way people express many positive personality traits often is a result of genetics.

Steger now is updating a section, “Meaning in Life,” for the second edition of “Handbook of Positive Psychology” published by Oxford University Press.

“More research on life meaning could help psychologists unite the many ways they try to understand the events, states, traits and institutions that define and determine human happiness,” he said. “Meaning matters.”

My name is Amanda and i turned 21 almost 2 weeks ago now. Im technicallly meant to be in my final year of university studying Digital Media, however reasons beyond my control have meant that i am going to be resitting the year and now finishing next year.

About me. I have a fantastic boyfriend called Elliott who i love with all my heart. He has been my rock this year and without him i would have fallen to pieces i expect. we have a great laugh and i even have him living with me over this summer so he can continue to work in thanet. I can't wait for this as its gonna be great spending the summer with him. :D

As i have said i am studying Digital Media. I enjoy this course although in hindsight i kinda wished i had done something else at uni, but hey things happen for a reason and you never know without this i may never have met elliott.

i currently work at Sports Direct however i hope that after next week i may never have to work there again as its a horrible job!!!

however thats enough complaining now the great things in my life. 1, Elliott as i have already mentioned and then there is 2, my family! im incredibly close to my parents and love spending time with them even if me and my dad do clash! and my sisters are a lot older but as ive grown up ive become a lot closer to them, and not forgetting my niece and nephews. Lewis, Jack and Georgia, the boys are a good laugh and are great for a rough and tumble with and then there is Georgia. she is incredible 2 (almost) year old. so cute and funny and loves to be spun around hehe and then 3, my friends. i don' have many at all but those who have stuck with me i love a great deal. and i hope our friendships continue throughout life.

anyway thats enough for now as i'm never going to have anything else to say. so i am going to go chill before i have to get ready for work. yuck.

i am sure i will be back soon to ramble on.

I honestly could write a book on what a complete scam it all is but plenty of people before me have said it and if you don’t think it’s a scam then there’s no real convincing you at this point.  My only purpose in writing this blurb is to post the link below where it is reported that North Carolina Central University has given Crystal Magnum, the Duke lacrosse case accuser, a degree in “Police Psychology.”  This comes as no real surprise to me at all (seriously) because of what I just wrote in the first paragraph.

http://media.www.dukechronicle.com/media/storage/paper884/news/2008/05/15/Columns/Summa.Cum.Loony-3371900.shtml

This article by Kristin butler is a good read and in fact, the spot that I got the above link from (Duke Basketball Report) stated “Her article on Crystal Mangum’s graduation is another plum for her and another embarrassment for members of the local and national media who, again, were outperformed by a college student.”

But there is at least one thing to note.  In this article Kristin Butler writes “Because of the university's blatant refusal to enforce its own rules, I will never again take an NCCU degree seriously, and neither should any other self-respecting Dukie. NCCU's "seal of approval" no longer guarantees good character, and it's just too hard to tell the thugs and liars (like Burnette and Mangum) apart from the high-performing majority.”

My issue here is that it should be any self-respecting college student or alumni should not take any college or University seriously at this time.  A “self-respecting Dukie” should immediately note that the Duke administration immediately turned their backs on the accused and never looked back and broke their own rules throughout the life of the case being open.  One of the reasons I followed what happened in the Duke lacrosse case is because not soon after the story broke, I knew it was all a lie based on the body language of the D.A. and the lack of facts coming out, and I wanted to see how it played out.  What happened at Duke could have happened at any college or University and any college or University would be happy to pass anyone as long as the money goes into the University’s bank accounts from somewhere whether it be the student, the student’s parents, public funds, Jesse Jackson’s Rainbow Coalition and I’m sure things as extreme as laundered money or money from suspect off-shore bank accounts.  I still consider my college degree worthless because as Butler just wrote, “…it’s just too hard to tell the thugs and liars…apart from the high performing majority.”  I might have unrolled it once and looked at it before putting it back in the tube it was mailed in (I was pleasantly surprised it wasn’t shipped C.O.D.).  I don’t even know where it is located now.

Here are some methods and etiquettes of debating issues.

Clarity: Avoid use of terms which can be interpreted differently by different readers. When we are talking to people who substantially agree with us we can use such terms as "rednecks" or "liberals" and feel reasonably sure that we will be understood. But in a debate, we are talking to people who substantially disagree with us and they are likely to put a different interpretation on such words.

Evidence: Quoting an authority is not evidence. Quoting a majority opinion is not evidence. Any argument that starts with, "According to so and so..." is not based on objective evidence. Any argument that starts with, "Most biologists believe..." is not based on objective evidence. Authorities and majorities can be wrong and frequently have been.

Emotionalism: Avoid emotionally charged words--words that are likely to produce more heat than light. Certainly the racial, ethnic, or religious hate words have no place in rational debating. Likewise, avoid argumentum ad hominem. Personal attacks on your opponent are an admission of intellectual bankruptcy. Also, slurs directed at groups with whom your opponent is identified are usually nonproductive. Try to keep attention centered on the objective problem itself. There is a special problem when debating social, psychological, political, or religious ideas because a person's theories about these matters presumably have some effect on his own life style. A suggested solution is to make a general statement rather than one referring specifically to the opponent. In other words, rather than saying "and that's why you are such an undisciplined wreck" say, "a person adopting your position is, I believe, likely to become an undisciplined wreck because ..."

Read more and post discussion or debate:  The Art of Debate

In other news; I had a job interview for a headhunting firm in Leeds but did not get it, the same day saw my taking part in my first ever Radio show - LSR's Political Animal - I thoroughly enjoyed myself, although I was exceedingly nervous and I don't think I spoke up often enough, better luck next time...

Education is a right, is a right, is a right,
Education is a right, not a privelege!
Alan Gilbert is a right, is a right, is a right,
Alan Gilbert is a right right-wing bastard!

But this article wasn't written from an ivory tower, as it were, abstracted from any concrete goings on. It was written by the person in charge of administrating the nation's largest campus, against a backdrop of growing militant opposition to his policies. I felt it important, at stupid o'clock last night, to write a long comment putting Gilbert's views into perspective. Since the Murdoch-owned wing establishment seems disinclined to give me a platform (ie. my comment has been moderated), I reproduce my intervention here:

I would like to provide a little context to this article.

If Dr Gilbert is calling for more funding to help university staff meet the demands placed upon them, then this is to be applauded. However, such a stance is hardly consistent with the spending policies he has enacted since coming to Manchester.

In the name of saving money, administrative staffing levels have been slashed, and departmental libraries have been losed down. At the same time, money has apparently been no object in throwing up expensive and unnecessary new buildings across the campus, or hiring celebrity lecturers - like the racist Martin Amis - who take a year's salary for a few hours' work.

It is less surprising that Dr Gilbert blames the university's difficulties on wider participation in higher education. As one of the most prominent lobbyists for a dramatic increase in tuition fees come the government's spending review, the formula of too high participation and too little funding serves him quite well. However, while increased participation does create certain difficulties, a shift in the priorities of both the university administration and the government nationally would easily be able to meet them.

The NUS, for example, estimates that just £2billion would be enough to put half the 18-year-olds in the country through university with substantial cost of living grants, and it would be unforgivable miserliness to sell them short when so much more is being spent on so much less.

Perhaps the most important context that needs to be added is the growing student radicalism on campus. In October, about a hundred students occupied a prestige banquet, and in April a significantly larger demonstration occupied the Arthur Lewis building - seen by many as a symbol for the university's misplaced priorities - for several hours. Days later, at a conference entitled "education in a neoliberal world", student activists and staff met to discuss united action in future.

Both demonstrations voiced widespread opposition to the cuts that Dr. Gilbert's administration has implemented in Manchester - again, while forking out heavily on prestigious white elephants - and called for changes in the way higher education is funded. Namely, they called for a free education - something that was once the norm, which is economically feasible and socially necessary as it has ever been, and which is an anaethema to the likes of Alan Gilbert.

This report is not coming out in a vacuum, and I urge readers not to imagine otherwise.

 امیدوارم که همه امتحان های پایان ترم هم این طور برگزار بشه که همه تو امتحان شریک باشن و همه با خوشحالی از جلسه بیرون بیان.

The grandest problem about this OSCE (and maybe other future OSCE's) was that, it was an exam, which means we had to be serious and really thinking about our grades. BUT, we had to play the doctor at all times, so we had to... err... act. You know, as in doing something in a fake but believable manner. Let's be honest here, all we cared for today was how well we'd survive our first OSCE. We didn't really care about the patients, let alone the dead mannequins. Ironically we had to pretend to care in order to survive. We had to maintain our sweetest smiles and graceful manners as long as possible (until my teeth felt dry).

They graded us for lying. Sheesh.

There were 3 waves of students, and each wave was divided into blue and yellow groups. I was in the second wave, yellow group. I bet our innocent patients were already bored to death (but they were paid so I suppose they followed along happily).

Ladies and gentlemen, I present: My first OSCE - the greatest play ever performed.

***

1. Drug prescribing

This was okay. The examiner was one my ex-PBL tutors, so he knew me pretty well. His name is dr. N, a very friendly and helpful man, but he's notorious for his frequent coldness. But this coldness reduced my stress as he didn't comment much and I could converse with my patient without any interruption. He did mention, though, that I forgot to explain about the drug's working rate and... something else... okay I forgot. I forgot what I forgot. Welcome to med school.

2. Thorax physical examination

I couldn't remember the doc's name since we only met her once in a single lecture. Just like dr. N, she didn't comment much and let me do my thing. The office boy who became my patient seemed to be used to all this --- he didn't complain or at least look startled when I (in a voice I considered polite enough) asked him to open his shirt.

One thing that I very much dislike: she asked me this forever-annoying question, "Do you think you missed something?". Uhh... what about... I don't know? (but sadly I only had one choice: to say "No". Because if I said "Yes", she'd ask further: "What did you miss?" to which I didn't know the answer). I didn't know what I forgot. Fun, isn't it? Welcome to med school.

3. Venous puncture

Everything was fine, except that I should've put the alcohol-ed cotton before I pulled out the needle. How could I, remembering that I always finished VP practices perfectly?? Thanks dr. C, for not being irritating nevertheless. Oh and thanks to the rubber arm with very diluted rosy blood, whom I referred to as "Mister".

4. Pulse & BP measurement

WHO WAS BRAINLESS/HEARTLESS ENOUGH TO PLACE THIS SHE-DEMON OF A DOC HERE, AT MY SUPPOSED-TO-BE FAVOURITE STATION??!!! Other docs kept reminding us to be nice to patients, complete with supportive talks and all, but this one lady announced that I spent too much time arse-licking, while all I did was asking the patient about his activities (because they might influence his heart condition, don't you think?).

And yet I was rather impressed by the type of stethoscope they provided us: one with a branched tube. So one chestpiece with one tube, two pairs of binaurals, and two pairs of earpieces. I don't know what it's called: a dual stetoschope? ;)

5. Chest X-ray

Nothing much to say. We sat down and commented on the CXR image given. Comments were handwritten, surprise, surprise. My hands were trembling ginormously and I think I put down less information than I actually wanted. I didn't get to measure the cardiothoracic ratio. That sucked.

6. Peripheral blood smear

I dreaded this station. Not that I could not do it. Yes I could, but whatever the docs might say, it needs a lot of luck. A LOT OF FRIGGIN' LUCK. As been predicted before, after 3 trials I still couldn't produce an ideal slide of blood smear. The examiner was the doctor who used to instruct me during blood smear practices. But in those practices, she said "A" whereas during the exam she acted as if she never did so and said I should've done "B". Why do I always get into trouble regarding hematology??

7. Surgical gloves

Easy. Simple. But shocking. I'd never seen a real pair of sterile, surgical gloves before, and here they were, sitting nicely in front of me waiting to be ripped open. Dr D, one of the two old hags whose presence is declared as repulsive and (to borrow a clichéd phrase) sticking out like a sore thumb, asked me why I looked so nervous. Sure, it must be visible from the way I opened the glove bag (veeeeerryyy carefully). So I explained. ("We never practiced with real surgical gloves before.") But she smiled rather sweetly and replied, "I know you can do it."

How uplifting is that?? Helpful Doc #1. The room looked a bit brighter.

8. Reflexes

Reflex = relax, because it's dr. V and she's my best girl. I tested Achilles, patellar, and biceps reflexes. Results were normal, except for the right patellar reflex. Aside from forgetting to place my free hand on the patient's thigh during the patellar testing, everything else was smooth. The room was even more shinier.

9. Baby head circumference

A station with dr. A, my other best girl. Went well. Did the measurement in a rather awkward position, and dr. A showed me a more comfy way (I love her so much). Result was 30 cm, a microcephalic baby. I succeded here, and full credits go to dr. A. Can I have her as my big sis?? Helpful Doc #2.

10. Gluteal intramuscular injection

The bright room turned dimmer during this station. I thought dr. J's station would be as supportive as the previous 3 docs, but I couldn't be more wrong. Dr. J was tough this time. There was this technique that we were never taught of, and he was extremely upset about it. I explained the situation, but I wasn't sure he was listening. Ah I don't know. I did the injection quickly (poor rubber butts!) and immediately ran to the next station, never looking back.

11. Adult anthropometry

Height, weight, BMI. Forgot to re-check the balance and adjust it to zero. Stupid mistake. I weighed my own body every month and now this?? What's got into me, for god's sake! Nonetheless, dr. T here was a Helpful Doc #3.

12. Anamnesis

The last station. This was actually the first station but since I was person #2, I had to start at the second station (drug prescribing), so anamnesis became my final. The examiner was a new, freshly-graduated doc. Didn't know her name but looked like she knew her stuff. She had this cynical look that seemed to scream: "You little undergrad med student fool, YOU!". I'm guessing that probably, during her med school years, she was the conceited bitch who was smart enough to enroll in med AND seductive enough to attract unwary patients. No offense.

***

To sum up today's experience: at the beginning I felt like:

But then at the end I felt much more like:

-

Happy weekend, everybody!

~Anna

Today I had a meeting scheduled at 11 in order to meet the three other people from Lund that are also going to China this summer. I came straight from a tutoring meeting (for the ongoing project), and found myself at the International Secretariat at twenty minutes to eleven. Not being quite sure exactly where the meeting was to be held, I sat down on a bench outside their building, pulled up my laptop, and checked the email I'd gotten a few days earlier for details - only to notice that the time was in fact 10, and not 11. Great. Well, after a few "subtle" hints of discontentment from the person in charge of the thing in Lund ("Oh hi! We're just finishing up!"), I did actually get to meet the people whom I'm going with at least (and one of them came even later than I did, also thinking the meeting was at 11 for some reason), even though I missed all of the background story for the course and the like.

As for the project, things are going well! Too well almost (I keep expecting things to go to hell any second), because we're a full week ahead of schedule (which is A LOT in a roughly two week long project) after today's work (which ended at 14 already). Which means we're either lousy planners (or just very pessimistic when it comes to time consumption) or have done a lousy job so far. I think I prefer the first one. Either way, we felt so damn good about ourselves that we decided to take the weekend off. I'm SO gonna sleep my ass off.
- - -
Song of the day: Moby - Homeward Angel

Christina! (You're really in a lot of my photo's =P)

[Click to see in high resolution]

What's this good for? -> You can see really 3-dimensional!

Fourther information is aviable at http://cg.fh-wedel.de/vrlab/cave/index.html

INTERMEDIATE LEVEL

I got reading, speaking and listening down I have to focus on writing and grammar/vocabulary. So the next step is to probably give my French B2 DELF in [according to this :] 18 weeks.

This table enables you to find approx. preparation times for each DELF DALF exam in relation to your current level of French. Please bear in mind that this is only a rough guide and the evaluation test at the beginning of your course and our advice throughout your course will help you to decide about which DELF DALF exam to take.

DELF DALF exam dates 2008

The DELF DALF exam takes place in the DELF DALF exam centre of Montpellier at the dates listed below (in brackets : enrolment deadlines). ILA will look after you enrolment. In case you are not able to sit the DELF DALF exam at these dates in Montpellier, you can still prepare your DELF DALF exam here and sit it in your home country.

Exam costs are as follows : DELF A1: 100€, DELF A2: 120€, DELF B1: 160€, DELF B2: 180€, DALF C1: 200€, DALF C2: 200€.
These fees are not included in the course fee and payable directly to the DELF DALF exam centre.

Ok so that leaves the Spanish exam date which will probably be in December . I should start going to a Spanish course starting next week. just to be on the safe side of things. And to get grammar right ; until then I should find my old notebook and revise so that it won't be really necessary to start from the very beginning.

Now I covered :

• • Books
  • Languages
  • Computer time
  • Body and health issues
  • Volunteer work

So let's continue with computer time . Since I will be very busy doing so many things, I should limit my computer time to 30 min per day or 1 hour and I'm thinking of doint that before I go to school [ keep in mind that I still have 1 month and 2 weeks of school until the 15th of June , so I'll be considering that 6 hours out of the day will be school time and another 8 hours sleeping time so 10 hours left for other activities] in which I should be able to update this blog, catch up with my daily gossip sites and general news. I also need some time to catch up with the many episodes I usually watch and fashion news and articles that normally take a little bit more time. Maybe Sunday would be a good day for that . We'll see exactly how much time I'll put aside, depending what else I'll have to do on that day.
I also should start the ECDL courses in the Summer holiday . They last 9 weeks . I'll have to go 1 time per week for 4 hours and the certificate is really useful for everything from using a computer the right way to demonstrating to others [ faculties or employers ] that you really can manage a PC.
Next on the list I have to start exercising again and make some notes on the whole raw thing . I have been looking into that for quite some time and I have decided that time has come to give it a try . i will post the details after I finish this alongside with 2 more article : the first part of my Romania Study cycle and a personal view on " The Hills ". Now about the exercise, 1 hour bicycling after school and some rope jumping [15 mins in the morning and 15 minutes before going to bed ] should do the trick in the beginning .
Last order of the day : volunteer work . Now I should be able to gather around 40 activities in 4 months which should be enough to complete my CV . This week I have to go and register to the Red Cross, World Vision and Bethany .

Finally except for the Spanish lesson which I will start probably in 1 or 2 weeks everything should start as plan from Monday onwards.

Final List:

• Books
• Languages
• Computer time
• Body and health issues
• Volunteer work

I can't continue like this... its bad enough being in the thick of exam preparations, but to also be plagued by my incessant fears? It's destroying me...

I can't do this...

Now we're on study leave, the pressure for exams is intense... But ever since her suicide scare, its difficult to express in words, the true sense of panic that overcomes me if I cannot get in contact with her.

Her phone is off, I can't concentrate, my mind wonders, I always think the worst. I know a positive mentality is vital, but I just feel so defeated, there is no energy or hope left in me... I cannot physically deal with everything...

Worryingly, this psyche is transferring to other things and other people apart from her, I think the worst, I can scare myself to tears over nothing, I'm always on edge... is this what paranoia feels like? Will I snap out of it? Even in years to come, will I still think someone has been admitted into hospital because they failed to pick up their phone? Please let this fade with time...

What should I do? 'Just don't think about it' is infinitely easier said than done, the advice is pretty near useless... but what is the alternative? It's eating me up and my optimism for the future is draining away with it, hope for the future is the only thing keeping me going and even that is slipping away...

I can't do this...